Movie: Expendables 3
Rating: 2 1/2 Stars (Out of 5)
Review: Uh, Oh. When the alarm clock rings, a bunch of old geezers (Stallone, Statham, Lundgren etc.) limp out of bed, rub on some Ben Gay, then put on their soldier of fortune gear for another day of shooting up third world bad guys. That pretty much sums up all the Expendable movies. The best scene in this action flick is probably the opening sequence where someone needs to be extracted from the infamous Denzali prison.
Then on to Mogadishu for another assignment quasi supported by the CIA in the person of Harrison Ford. Why the US Government needs to pay Stallone and his Merry Men of Mayhem to do their work, instead of Navy Seals or Army Delta teams, is one of life’s little mysteries. Anyway, things go to hell in a hand basket in Somalia, and they learn former Expendable co-founder Mel Gibson, presumed deceased, is still alive. This is bad news, because Mel has become a very rich and very bad boy by becoming an international arms dealer.
Stallone declares vendetta on Mel baby, and retires the old Expendables and brings on fresh blood, including Antonio Banderas and Ronda Rousey (MMA champ). They all end up in some unpronounceable country (Azmanistan?), and there is lots of bang bang, boom boom that transpires. Arnie Schwarzenegger shows up long enough to smoke two cigars.
If you liked Expendables 1 and 2, you’ll like a third helping. Plenty of action, some witty banter, and no discernable plot.
Actors To Watch: Are you kidding?
Huh, What The ….: What I want to know is how the movie producers could afford to blow up half of Bulgaria for this film, pay all the big name stars, and still expect to make a profit?
Dialogue Nuggets: “I heard you killed more people than the plague.”
“A one-way trip is better than a no-way trip.”
“I missed you, too, you demented bastard.”
Mel to minion: “How hard can it be to kill ten people? Can you at least wound a couple?”