Top Five


Movie:  Top Five

Rating:  3 Stars (Out of 5)

Review:  Andre Allen (Chris Rock) is having a life crisis.  He’s made a ton of money doing Hamy The Bear movies, is highly regarded as a comedian, but he wants to be a respected actor and do something meaningful in his career.  So he is out on the talk circuit doing promos for his latest movie about a guy who leads a slave revolt in Haiti.  Sooner or later most comedy actors yearn to prove their dramatic acting chops (i.e. Jim Carrey, Tom Hanks, Steve Carrel and so on), and Andre is determined to make the leap to respectable actor.  Andre agrees to be interviewed by NY Times reporter Chelsea Brown (Rosario Dawson), and she is determined to drill deep into Andre’s life to find the real person.   During the three days she interviews him, a lot of her true self is revealed as well.  A little truth can go a long way; too much truth may be unwise.

In addition to the pressure of assessing whether his career is going to tank, Andre is on the verge of marrying the very sexy Erica Long (Gabrielle Union), a woman most men would cut off an appendage to date.  Erica is also very famous, mostly for being a celebrity in the public eye (think Kim Kardasian).  The path to love is never easy, especially when it takes place on the front page of magazines and talk shows.

There are some things to recommend this movie.  Chris Rock steps out of his comfort zone to try and make a statement about the rocky road of being a celebrity, the pressures, the hangers-on who all want a piece of the star.  It must be tough to keep an even keel and stay true to yourself as a person while being a public figure.  The movie shows that side of life relatively well; it did seem to drag in the middle, and at times try too hard to dwell on Andre’s “issues”.   I generally liked the film, but would rather see Chris Rock stick to his forte as a funny man.

Actors To Watch:  Look forward to the short uncredited scene with Jerry Seinfeld, Adam Sandler and Whoopie Goldberg.

Huh?  What The….:  What was the deal with a photo of George W. Bush hanging in a Houston hotel room?  Was this some kind of inside joke?

The movie title referred to peoples’ favorite musical performers.  I have no idea how that was supposed to tie into the movie.  Personally, I think they should have gone with a different title, but as Dennis Miller likes to say, that’s just my opinion.  I could be wrong….

Dialogue Nuggets:  “If this thing collapses, we could be talking Dancing With The Stars!”

Erica:  “If it’s not on camera, it doesn’t exist.”

Andre:  “Ho’ sleep.  The kind of sleep you get when you think a ho’ might come over.”

Andre:  “My dick was gone.  Looked like a button on a mink coat!”

“With your credit, you couldn’t get a loan if Bill Gates co-signed you.”

Chelsea:  “What’s he going to tell people?  We broke up because my girlfriend shoved a red-hot chili pepper up my ass?”

Seinfeld:  “She took my wallet!”  Exotic dancer:  “I don’t have any clothes on.  Where did I put it?”  Seinfeld:  “Do I have to say it?”


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